Your wishes may be preparing you for your frustration. Your longings may become schemes for your own discontent. They are too “long”- beyond your reach or beyond reality.   

                                                                        

         Life without illusions would be unbearable! Yet illusions create terrible anxieties. We simply cannot live without them-imagined events that repair a disappointing world. And we never completely forsake the wish that discontent will stay out of our path forever. The matter of fact is that wishes repair the unwished for, but they do not remove it.
  

                                                            THE TRUTH AND REALITY.

       We live a lie. We fool ourselves, wishing that either someone would sweep us off our lonely feet or something would bring us a streak of luck or the bluebird of happiness. Our lies are many: if we had more time, or more money or  another chance! We would be satisfied. If only others would love us, if only others would change, if only others will take care of us, then we would know pleasure.   If only fate, the stars, destiny, an angel, a lover, an oracle, or some tea leaves will tilt in our favor, then we would be on top of the world.

We are lied to: promised miracles, false assurances, and distorted claims. We are told that we can become financially secure through five steps, happy within 90 days, and winners three times over. But the grand solution is the Big lie. We simply want to be told what we want to hear.

We all believe in magic. In our upbringing we were taught that wishing could make things come true. Our guardians trained us in magical thinking. It was there in their stories, in their promised  ”surprises ”  if we behaved, taboos and lucky charms, name more if you have. When we get older we carry these to our adult life.

                                                               LOOSENING THE GRIP.

Our lies in the form of wishes and illusions, protect us for a time and up to a point. We need “urgent lies” in order to escape the onslaught of reality; we need the hopeful picture when we are up to our necks in thorns. Making a wish is making life as pleasurable as possible.

The difficult with the mental shed of wishes always is giving them up. Using wishful thinking to control the forces and  event of life, we may find that they begin to control us. We wish to be more content(happier) instead of choosing to be. We fall into the arms of

“if only”:

If only this would happen……..

Or we embrace the “Whens”

When I get out of this situation…….

Or we cling to the “what - ifs”

What if this changed…..

We deal with our problems in seventh heaven, not where we are!

The grip of wishful thinking prevents us from grappling with our experience. But strength comes from the struggle, from the school of reality. If we are conditioned to wishes and fantasies, we never discover courage. And we cannot live our best lives telling lies and accepting the lies we are told. Liars are the least courageous people. I end up here by saying loosening the grip of wishful thinking which I mean accepting reality however new and terrifying it is will make your hopes smaller but not kill them, nonetheless you will grow courageuos.

The Obamas' love story 

“I was charmed, and we became instant friends after the first conversation,” Michelle Obama says. “Eventually I wore her down,” is Barack Obama’s version.

Michelle Robinson had no idea that she was about to mentor a coming president of the United States when she was introduced to the hotshot Harvard law student.

“What kind of name is that?”
She was a first-year attorney at the Chicago law firm of Sidley Austin when word spread through the law office that this young man would be working at the firm that summer. Michelle saw a photograph of the new hire and was not impressed. "I thought, OK, he's probably not all that terrific, and he's probably kind of a clown, and then I found out that his name was Barack Obama," Michelle Obama said in a 2004 interview with the Chicago Sun-Times. 'Well, what kind of name is that?'" Michelle asked herself.

The first date
When Barack told Michelle that he wanted to date her, she said no -- repeatedly. She wasn't keen on office dating. Michelle even tried to fix him up with other young women. "Eventually I wore her down," Obama wrote in his 2006 book, The Audacity of Hope.

The kiss tasted chocolate
"He swept me off my feet," said Michelle Obama, recalling how her date made her laugh and intrigued her with his "deep understanding" of art. Sitting on a curb, they shared their first kiss over Baskin-Robbins ice cream. "It tasted of chocolate,” Obama writes in his book. Michelle found they shared the same humor, the same values and interests. She admired the fact that he had a worldly charm, and at the same time showed a genuine desire to help the less fortunate.

“Won’t last”
Michelle Obama's brother, Craig Robinson, remembers meeting Barack while he and Michelle were still dating: "I loved the way he talked about his family because it was the way we talked about our family. I was thinking, ‘Nice guy. Too bad he won't last.’"Michelle waited two years before Barack finally proposed. She didn’t like the fact that he struggled with whether marriage had become an outdated institution, though she knew he didn’t fear commitment.
Over dinner at Chicago's swanky Gordon restaurant, now Naha, the coming president had a peculiar smirk on his face. On the dessert plate was a box with a ring inside.

Magical wedding
Barack and Michelle were married in October 1992 at Trinity United Church of Christ. Their reception was held at the South Shore Cultural Center, which was once an elite private club off limits to African Americans and Jews.
"It was magical," Michelle Obama's close friend Valerie Jarrett, a top campaign adviser, says of the wedding. "They were clearly madly in love with each other."

Strong marriage
According to the Obama’s book, the couple spent the first few years of their marriage adjusting to each other's moods, quirks and habits. "It's unusual to have so strong a bond and so strong a marriage as the two of them have. They work very hard at it. It's not easy